Less than a week ago, I drove four Audi SUVs in rapid succession: The Q7, Q8, SQ7, and SQ8, all within a single day. Each of the four showed a different aspect of Audi’s current identity, but only one showed how good things could really get for the company: The SQ8.
When I hit my lowest point out on that press trip, the SQ8 was the exact car I needed. My last drive of the day, the one I dreaded most, became the best experience of the four by a wide margin. And, for Audi, it’s not even the best of the best.
Full Disclosure: Audi shipped me out to Utah to drive four crossovers (and ride one mountain bike) all at once. The Q7, SQ7, Q8, and SQ8 have all been lightly updated, and between the smaller changes and shorter drives these reviews likely won’t be the 1,600-word epics you’ve come to expect from my byline. Audi paid for my transportation, lodging, and food.
Before the car, a bit of backstory. If you read the disclosure paragraphs on car reviews, you’ll notice that journalists get flown to all sorts of neat places in order to drive new cars. When Audi offered a trip to Utah for this four-crossover day, I did my usual pre-trip research — Googling whether it’s safe to be a transsexual in a given area — and decided I wanted in, despite the state’s risks. What I didn’t realize, however, is that I’d missed an important bit of risk assessment.
Utah, it turns out, is way the fuck up in the sky. I’ve lived nearly my entire life in low-set regions of the Northeast, mere inches from sea level, and suddenly I’d been transported thousands of feet up into thinning atmosphere with hot, dry days and cold nights — I slept poorly, I breathed poorly, and I reacted poorly as the altimeters in the Audi dashes started ticking ever upwards.
By the time I was handed the keys to the SQ8, I felt bad. I’d crossed the 9,500-foot mark in altitude earlier in the day — higher than the start line of Pikes Peak — and the altitude was truly getting to me. I was the last of the group, driving the slowest to avoid nausea, and suddenly I was behind the wheel of the most performance-oriented vehicle on the list. Great.
I’d also been made acutely aware, through the signs and flags on the few houses that dotted the drive route, that this was not a place where I could pull over to rest and breathe. Utah is legally set against trans people, and public opinion in parts of the state seems to follow. The SQ8 needed to get me back to the safety of the hotel, and quickly, without pushing me over the altitude-induced edge of puking.
Had the SQ8 instead been another performance coupe-crossover, say a Mercedes AMG GLC 43 Coupe, I’d have thrown up before opening the driver’s door from the sight of it alone. Had it been a BMW X6 M, the bumpy ride would have had the same effect after two corners. But in the SQ8, I quickly realized that I would be okay. I wouldn’t be the fastest, I wouldn’t have the best apexes, but I wouldn’t succumb to nausea either.
The SQ8 is not an AMG GLC Coupe or an X6M, and it’s all the better for it. It’s a calmer, more sedate vehicle, owing to that blank space above it in the lineup — the RSQ8, which has yet to receive the fresh facelift of the SQ model. The SQ8 doesn’t need to go all-out, it just needs to be a good crossover with some power.
That power, in the SQ8, is not overwhelming. It will not pin you back in your seat. It will, however, come on with control, precision, and predictability — three things that matter far more than zero to 60 numbers. The SQ8 claims 500 horsepower and 568 lb-ft of torque, but those numbers can be played with the skill of a concert pianist. Never more, or less, power than you desire.
The ZF 8HP transmission, retuned from the base Q8, helps here as well. Where the base car is slow to shift and requires considerable prodding before it’ll understand your intent, the SQ version is much improved. It’s not the near-telepathic response that some other manufacturers tune into their ZFs, but it rarely surprises with a wrong move.
With comfortable-yet-planted suspension and a drivetrain that felt in sync with my driving, I was able to cross that 9,500-foot threshold one last time. I was able to wind my way down through Utah’s forests and reserves, gaining oxygen in my lungs with every number that ticked down on the altimeter. After a day of Audi crossovers that had felt at odds with me, uncertain in their aims, the SQ8’s goal was simple: Get me back to the hotel.
The altitude on the SQ8’s dash kept counting down, and the winding road eventually opened up to beautifully-lit scenic lookout. Isolated from nearby residences, it felt safe to finally pull over for photos — my last lap around an Audi, camera in hand, for the day. The blue-over-gray color scheme may not have spoken to me, but the subtlety of the Audi’s appearance did. It didn’t scream performance like its platform-mate Urus, it didn’t scream anything at all. Just a crossover, like any other, that happened to have the power, finesse, and plushness I needed.
Audi, right now, is at an awkward growth period in its career. It went all in on EVs, walked that back, and is now trying to differentiate from its competitors with “tech” while offering the same features many of them do — plus $13 wallpapers for your center console. There isn’t much reason to choose an Audi over the German competition, who specialize more in performance or comfort.
But, in the SQ8, Audi has found appeal. By its middling virtue — its refusal to do anything unique — it becomes a standout in a crowd of tryhards. It’s a jack of all trades, but sometimes that’s exactly what you need — something that just gets the job done, for a broad definition of “job.” Out of Audi’s top-tier crossover lineup, the SQ8 has the best sales pitch. It’s the crossover for real people.