Guys, boring is relative. If you lived in a town where nobody owned a car, the person with the Corolla automatically has the most exciting car. Likewise if you’re in a group of people where everyone owns a Ferrari, your Miata which is by no stretch of the imagination boring becomes the least interesting.
Which is why relative boring comes in the form of the Corvette C8.
It’s not to say that there’s anything particularly wrong with them, in fact they are good cars and anybody who says they wouldn’t want to drive around in a mid-engine sports car is lying to themselves. This is a great segue with a low MSRP and a darn good way to generate instant clout. There is no doubt that it even drives the way it looks. The problem is when being seen in, driving in, and owning a mid-engine sports car becomes the cornerstone of why you would want to buy the most basic model you can get. All of a sudden it has opened the floodgates for anyone who is so inclined, from TikTok influencers and fledgling rappers to Florida retirement specials, to spend their hard-earned social media money and IRAs on a car that makes it look like they own an exotic car. And the content and personalities this mindset fed into are absolutely insufferable.
Imagine becoming the kind of person where “nice car” is the only compliment people can give you. Strike up conversation with the 19-year-old kid on Rodeo Drive or the early 20s gym bro and they will gladly talk your ear off about how they drive something cooler than your sun-damaged 200k-mile Toyota Prius. “What do you drive,” you ask, only to hear a warship classification repeated back to you in the smuggest mug you will ever see in your life.
“Oh.”
C8 Corvette. It’s not boring, but you’d have to be pretty damn boring to own one. And if you are what you eat, you are most certainly what you drive.