Dealing with anxiety as parents? It is completely okay to have fears about doing everything right. Expert reveals ways to manage stress and anxieties of parenthood.
Parenthood can be a scary journey; especially if it is someone’s first time being parents or not, the anxiety and stress is bound to kick in, “Will I be good enough?”, “ Am I cut out to be a mother or a father?” These can be thoughts or questions that can create so much anxiety that if one starts believing them on face value, they won’t be able to enjoy this journey and time.
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Since the time that an individual female gets to see those two lines on the pregnancy test, she starts worrying about the newborn who is going to enter her life instead of embracing herself in that moment when she has reached peak womanhood. The ability to give birth is such a beautiful thing, and instead of celebrating it, the anxiety takes over.
Anxiety in Parents
How does one understand that what they are experiencing is indeed just anxiety, and is not a declaration of who they are as an individual? India.com got in touch with Nishtha Khurana, Psychologist at Lissun, who explained the anxiety in parents.
“It is quite possible that subconsciously one may showcase shielding or avoidance behaviours; it may not be the best for you or for your child in the long run. One may believe that they are protecting their children from harm. But, in the larger scheme of things, we may be denying them opportunities to engage in new activities and discover their true personalities,” said Khurana.
Individuals may also tend to engage in anxious talk; which can push them further down on the scale of self confidence and self-esteem that one may carry. It happens unknowingly, but children have a way to pick up on their parent’s emotions, fears and anxieties and may tend to internalise them; which can turn them into anxious individuals in the future.
When anxiety kicks in, our rational brain goes for a toss, and we get absorbed by negative thoughts and irrationality. So much so that one may spend hours researching kids’ stuff and start believing that the probability of something terrible happening is quite high and constantly feels that something tragic is going to happen.
How to Deal With Anxiety?
- Firstly, it is important to acknowledge that this anxiety is not unusual and it does not necessarily mean that one is going to be a bad parent.
- Anytime we take on a new journey or welcome a new person in our life, stress regarding how to build this relationship and how to do everything right may develop. The most important thing then becomes acceptance of our limitations and shortcomings; accepting them does not mean that we are wrong, it just means that we are ready to give ourselves the chance to become more sensitive and welcome this new person in our life with open arms.
- Yes, there will be times one makes mistakes they do not want to make, but how do we expect ourselves to take on anything new without allowing some room for errors? This is a mindful reminder that any and every parent out there needs to give themselves, time and again.
- Engage in networking (support groups or parenting groups/communities) with other expectant parents or first time parents who might have experienced something similar and try to find solace in the fact that you are not alone. While learning about other people’s approach towards the situation and their experiences with the same, it can provide an individual with some confidence and playing ground to keep moving forward in this journey. Remember, facts combat fear.
- Talking to a therapist and seeking professional help might just turn out to be the best possible solution, when in need of some non-judgemental levels of support and understanding of your fears and concerns, a therapist will be just the right person to provide that safe space.