A reader writes: My wife sadly died a couple of years ago. I didn’t have time to really process everything before I became very ill – I suffer from rheumatism, have a heart condition, experience gut problems caused by diverticulitis, as well as neuropathy, which causes a constant burning and tingling in my extremeties and has led to mental health issues. I don’t feel like going on, despite having two loving children in their forties. Do you think I am selfish?
Dr Rosemary Leonard replies: Any physical health condition such as heart disease can cause emotional stress and if, in addition, there is ongoing pain, then there is a high risk of developing depression as well. There is good evidence that the more symptoms that are caused by an underlying health condition, the more likely it is that a person will also experience mental health problems.
Unfortunately, it’s the physical conditions that often get all the attention when you see a doctor, and the mental health issues can easily be ignored. However, they are every bit as important in terms of wellbeing, especially as being anxious or depressed can make the pain from a condition such as neuropathy seem worse.
You clearly are feeling very depressed, to the extent that you do not think your life is worth living – but have you told your family, or your doctor just how miserable you are? Just opening up about how you are feeling can be helpful, though I am aware it is something that many men of your generation find difficult. I’m sure if you admitted to your family how desperate you are they would try to help and support you.
I sense you feel you are already taking too many tablets, but you may benefit from antidepressant medication, and talking to a counsellor would almost certainly be helpful too.
Your GP will be able to arrange this for you. You can also get support from Mind (0300 123 3393), SANEline (0300 304 7000) or the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) on 0800 585858.
If you are really at crisis point, then please call the Samaritans (116123).
If you have a health question for Dr Leonard, email her in confidence at [email protected]. She regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence or reply to everyone