Like a game of ping pong, today’s Nice Price or No Dice B7 began with a lot of back and forth. Alpina built its engine, which was sent to BMW for installation, and the resultant car returned to Buchloe for final assembly. Let’s see how much back and forth will be required in settling on its price.
During the Soviet Union days, westerners liked to “Russia-fy” Eastern Bloc products by describing them with a Western counterpart name to which “ski” was added at the end. That’s how the Tupolev Tu-144 SST earned the nickname “Concordski.” If we stick to that tradition, we might call the 1972 GAZ-69 4X4 we looked at yesterday a “Jeepski.” At $7,000, most of you just wanted to call it too pricey as the GAZ fell in a 66 percent No Dice loss.
If you want to really experience capitalist decadence—and honestly, who doesn’t—then the best option is generally a range-topping sedan from either Mercedes-Benz or BMW. The Germans may not have a reputation for being wet-your-lederhosen funny, but it’s beyond argument that they know how to make the fanciest of pants cars.
Today’s 2011 BMW Alpina B7 isn’t just one of those decadent rides, its Alpina tuning massages the performance to even higher levels than even BMW thought appropriate for a car of this size and stature.
Based on the F01/F02 7 Series, the B7 features a pumped up edition of BMW’s 4.4-liter S63 V8. Hand-built by Alpina with larger turbos, revamped heads, and stronger pistons than the factory mills, the B7 engines were rated at a heady 500 horsepower and 516 lb-ft of torque, a substantial bump over the BMW editions. Unique ECU coding made all that happen earlier in the rev range too, making the B7 a totally different beast from its lesser brethren.
Building the B7 was a bit of a chore for the companies as once Alpina finished bolting together the engines, those had to be shipped to be shipped to the F01 factory in Dingolfing for installation in the cars, and after those rolled off the line, they went back to Alpina’s factory in Buchloe for the finishing touches.
Other changes on the B7 over the standard cars include a strengthened ZF 6HP26 six-speed automatic transmission, heftier drive and half-shafts, and bigger brakes grabbed from the parts bin of the massively heavy armored 760iL. Bigger radiators and intercoolers help keep everything from going critical in the drive-thru, and the whole thing is slathered with Alpina badges lest anyone question its provenance.
This Alpina Blue over black Lavalina leather and piano black trim L has 105,000 miles on the clock, and, based on the pictures, it has little wear and tear to show for those miles. In addition to the performance bone fides, the car features back-of-the-seat screens to stave off boredom for rear-seat passengers, while up in the front, there’s the standard—and execrable—iDrive system for front-seat infotainment.
Outside, the car wears powder-coated Alpina wheels and rides on a lowered suspension. The former are wrapped in relatively fresh Continental tires. According to the seller, the car is mechanically sound, suffering no dash lights and having recently passed its smog test with flying colors. To achieve these results, it’s been maintained by what the seller claims is a BMW Mastertech. The title is clean, and the car has a $16,800 price tag.
The seller is only interested in buyers with “cash on hand,” and we now need to decide if $16,800 is a reasonable amount of cash for this big Alpina. What’s your take on this tuned touring sedan at that asking? Given the car’s presentation and model’s history, does that seem fair? Or does the reputation of BMWs of a certain age demand this car to go for a considerably lower cost of entry?
You decide!
Phoenix, Arizona, Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.
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