Patty Van Duijn had started to feel her unborn baby kicking, and she and her partner Lee Simpson had already bought a cot. The pair even moved into a larger home to accommodate their new lives as parents.
So when the 29-year-old Adelaide woman’s water broke at 19-weeks gestation, and she gave birth to her breathless baby Mason last week, the devastation she experienced was earth-shattering.
She applied for the government’s Stillborn Baby Payment — a one-off payment of $4,059 — so that she could afford some more time away from her hospitality job to grieve.
Newsletters: Breaking news as it happens. Subscribe now
But because Mason died one week before the payment’s 20-week-cut off, she was unable to access financial support.
The grief was audible in Van Duijn’s voice, when she told 7NEWS.com.au that her financial situation would force her back to work before she was ready to stand on her feet all day, and put a smile on for the public.
“I’m just angry, it’s disgusting. It’s a full baby. It had everything, toes and hands and legs and everything. Yes, he was very small, but it was going through that whole process, and giving birth.
“Now, I’m here a week later, thinking about having to go back to work because I can’t afford to pay rent or bills now.”
And the fast-paced environment of her hospitality job will likely require her to hit the ground running.
“It’s long hours, it’s on your feet, it’s talking to people constantly, which is the last thing on my mind right now.”
Services Australia defines a stillborn baby as a baby who has had a gestation period of at least 20 weeks or weighed at least 400g at their birth, who has not breathed since delivery and had no heartbeat after birth.
But Van Duijn slammed the clinical definition as tone-deaf to the real experience of mothers.
“First of all, I don’t understand what the 400g of the baby has got to do with it,” Van Duijn said.
Later miscarriages — which are miscarriages between 13 and 20 weeks gestation — can be just as traumatic as stillbirths, she said.
“We started buying baby stuff, we bought a cot, your mind is constantly about the baby, you think, ‘it’s going to come, and I’ve got to be prepared’,” Van Duijn said.
“We moved house to have a bigger place to raise a baby, your whole mind is on the baby. You go to work to earn money to provide for the baby, you start feeling it kick, and then it’s all you think about.”
One clinical psychologist who had a miscarriage at 16 weeks gestation described the grief in a statement to the World Health Organisation as “unfathomable” and “harrowing” and detailed lactating breasts, piercing flashbacks and hormone spikes in the weeks that followed.
Presentations of post-traumatic stress disorder, depression and anxiety remained at “clinically important levels” for at least nine months for people who experienced miscarriage, one study found.
While Australia does not have accurate miscarriage data, it is believed that of the 100,000 to 150,000 families that experience miscarriages in Australia each year, up to 3000 of those experience later miscarriages.
For Van Duijn, the pain is compounded because she experienced a stillbirth at 21 weeks gestation in 2023, “exactly the same way I lost this one,” she said.
“I didn’t think it was going to happen again.”
Her water had broken, but she didn’t realise. She had also been bleeding, which is not uncommon during pregnancy.
“I didn’t really know that I was losing fluid because I was losing blood, and it was coming out together,” she said.
Van Duijn went to the hospital and doctors told her they would monitor her every two days until she cleared the gestation period during which she lost her first baby.
She was sent home, and told that “things weren’t looking good” but by the time she returned two days later, she said: “There was pretty much no water left, and, you know, that’s the baby’s house.”
Mason died two weeks earlier than Van Duijn’s first unborn baby, but this time the grieving young woman is left without any financial support.
Fair Work states that Australians are eligible for just two days of bereavement leave after a miscarriage, but for casual workers like Van Dujin, even that short period of leave is unpaid.
She has turned to GoFundMe, and now relies on the goodwill of strangers to raise enough funds to grieve at home.
Calls for empathy and support
When contacted by 7NEWS.com.au about the Stillborn Baby Payment cutoff date and Van Duijn’s experience, a Department of Social Services spokesperson offered their recognition to those experiencing loss in the category that Van Duijn doesn’t qualify for.
“The Australian Government recognises the tragic loss and trauma experienced by parents who have had a stillborn baby,” the spokesperson said.
“Families that lose their baby may wish to contact Services Australia to discuss any other support that may be available, including counselling, support and to connect with local services.”
Van Duijn told 7NEWS.com.au that she hopes that there will be greater consultation with women who have experienced late miscarriages when determining support for pregnancy loss in the future.
“Whoever has made this decision, I don’t hope that they go through this, but I do hope that they actually start talking to people and investigating how people actually feel and how they deal with (miscarriage) after it happens,” she said.
“I don’t think they know what people actually go through, if they haven’t gone through it themselves.”
And Van Duijn is far from the only one. The Early Pregnancy Loss Coalition is one of many support advocacy groups in the sector calling for funding in the next federal budget, for further research and support services.
If you need support following a miscarriage, stillborn or newborn death, you can SANDS website and 24/7 bereavement support line on 1300 308 307 or visit the Miscarriage Australia for additional resources.