Cops in Boulder, Colorado are on the hunt for a dangerous, unrepentant criminal who must be stopped at all costs. Their crime? Putting up much better road signs than the ones officially approved by the Colorado Department of Transportation. You would think the city would be happy that someone else is working on creative ways to make its streets safer, but 9 News reports that, apparently, putting up unauthorized road signs is “illegal” and counts as “criminal tampering.” Whatever that is.
So far, it looks like the signs have been placed in at least five different locations and all look like they they were professionally done. They also take a more straightforward tone with drivers, saying things such as, “GET OFF YOUR DAMN PHONE,” “SLOW THE FUCK DOWN” and “DON’T KILL ANY KIDS TODAY.” Local cops also apparently don’t have any leads as to who or which group is putting up the far superior signs.
“I’m guessing that it’s a concerned citizen that is kind of fed up with the behavior they’re seeing in their neighborhoods or other neighborhoods,” Boulder police commander Darren Fladung told 9 News. “So I definitely appreciate the gesture behind what they’re intending to do, but again, like I said, it is a crime and there’s other means people can take to try and let us know of these behaviors.”
Even though he insists it’s a crime, Fladung also admitted they understood why someone or a group of someones would feel the need to make their own signs, telling 9 News, “I appreciate the fact that it’s drawing attention to the fact that we’d like people to slow down and not be on their phones, but there’s probably, again, a few more appropriate ways about getting that message out.”
Every other developed country in the world may have figured out how to reduce road deaths, but in a true display of American exceptionalism, the U.S. has somehow managed to get even more dangerous. It’s especially bad if you ever dare to venture outside in anything other than a car, and even then, there are no guarantees you won’t get t-boned by a driver who thinks texting is more important than other people’s lives.
Boulder police are asking residents to keep an eye out for anyone putting up additional illegal signs and contact them with any information you have. I, on the other hand, would like to remind you that if you see something, no you didn’t.