Recently, we learned that people have been having sex in San Francisco robotaxis. It’s not exactly surprising news, but I’m not going to pretend it wasn’t fun to write about. I mean, (apologies to Jesus), but how many opportunities come along that allow you to get paid to introduce people to terms such as “heels-to-Jesus” and “jerkin’ it while she’s twerkin’ it”?
But one thing that stood out in the original article is that the newspaper couldn’t find anyone who would admit to having sex in a Waymo robotaxi. The journalist was able to find multiple people who admitted to doing it in Cruise taxis but not Waymo. So either Waymo riders are just better behaved, or they didn’t look hard enough. I guess the third option is that all the Waymo riders who would be up for it are unable to find consenting partners.
That’s where Jalopnik comes in. We’ve got reach, and we’d like to use it for good. Well, maybe not “good” in the traditional sense of the word. Good as in, you know, doing very serious and important journalism, all while providing you, our dear readers, with an entertaining read. Also, I’ve been advised that flying out to “get the story myself” is not considered ethical, and more importantly, it’s not something I would be allowed to expense.
So have you, or has someone you know, had sex in a Waymo robotaxi? It doesn’t have to have been in San Francisco, either. Phoenix counts, too. If so, please email me at cwoodard at Jalopnik dot com. I’ll need to verify your story so we don’t get sued for publishing your Wattpad fantasy like it’s a real thing that actually happened. Nothing against your Wattpad fantasies. I just don’t think a libel settlement would look good on my resume.
I’m also happy to change your name for the story and will keep identifying details confidential since using your real name could result in your account getting banned. Also, I will not be accepting stories if your ride took place after this post is published. I AM NOT ASKING YOU TO HAVE SEX IN A WAYMO JUST FOR THE ARTICLE!!! DO NOT DO THAT!!!
Actually, please do not have sex in a Waymo, period. Aside from possibly being illegal and against the terms of service, it’s also gross and inconsiderate to those around you, as well as anyone who will ride in the taxi after you. But, like, if you or someone you know has already done it in the past, could you please let me know? I just have some questions.