Lorraine Kelly has spoken out about suffering PTSD and being haunted by the smell of aviation fuel after the Lockerbie Bombing as she returns to the scene of the terror attack more than three decades later.
Thirty-five years ago this December, then 29-year-old Lorraine was one of the first TV reporters to arrive at the scene after Pan Am Flight 103 exploded mid-air, killing all 259 people aboard and 11 on the ground.
Before the police cordoned off the area, she saw first-hand the shocking aftermath of the disaster – including the broken cockpit of the plane which was ‘still warm’ and the craters and bodies as she drove through the town’s outskirts.
She still remembers how police ripped clothes off the bodies and amazing local women washed blood off garments to give them back to the families of the dead.
Lorraine has returned to the scene to understand what happened to the people of the town for documentary Return To Lockerbie with ITV1 and ITVX.
Recalling her own traumatic memories, she said: ‘It was horrendous, eerie, really quiet, with lots of weird smells. But it is the aviation fuel that I remember most.’
Lorraine Kelly visits the Lockerbie Gardens of Remembrance at Dryfesdale Cemetery
Lorraine returns to the small Scottish border town of Lockerbie to find out how the residents coped with the aftermath of the deadly terror attack
Thirty-five years ago this December, then 29-year-old Lorraine was one of the first TV reporters to arrive at the scene
The Pan Am Flight 103 exploded mid-air, killing all 259 people aboard and 11 on the ground
She said it sets off flashbacks and nightmares, telling the Telegraph: ‘Often times I am above it, like a drone, looking down. That is really awful.’
Lorraine remembers standing on the edge of the devastation, watching as the emergency services tried to rescue people.
She said: ‘The exhausted rescue services searched in vain for people to save. All they could do that night, and in the days to come, was locate and recover the bodies of all of the dead.
‘Looking back, as we trudged through that field, I realise I was only able to function and do my job because it felt so utterly unreal. It was like the set of a disaster movie.’
The 63-year-old decided to make the documentary to shed light on the suffering of those in Lockerbie.
Drew Young, whose team were asked to guard the nosecone of the plane that had fallen in a field next to Tundergarth Church, features in Return To Lockerbie with Lorraine Kelly, which airs on ITV1 and ITVX at 9pm on Wednesday November 15.
Speaking to him, Lorraine said: ‘I feel that an awful lot of people don’t appreciate the scale of what happened and the effect it had on people here.
Lorraine Kelly has returned to Lockerbie to speak to people about the aftermath of the attack
Soldiers search the crater left by the wreckage of PanAm flight 103 in the town of Lockerbie in 1988
Scottish rescue personnel carry a body away from the cockpit
Arial view of the devastation left in the small scottish town of Lockerbie
‘I mean, how do people feel about what happened, people that lived through it like you. People that experienced the absolute horror of it?
Speaking in the field next to the church, he told her: ‘A lot of folk wouldn’t talk about it… It’s like a shutter coming down. You know, you got on with it.’
Asked if the feeling was still there, he says: ‘It’s still there, the town shut down that night. The town shut down.’
The presenter also met with Peter Giesecke, who back in 1988 ran out of his house to find the dead body of one of the passengers lying across his hedge.
He told Lorriane he always remembers what he saw but he doesn’t talk about the memories that haunt him.
Peter Giesecke at his home in Lockerbie – Peter saw the shocking aftermath of the disaster
Lorraine admits she didn’t have counselling and instead just spoke to her father about what happened
Lorraine returns to try to understand what happened to Lockerbie and its people
Return To Lockerbie With Lorraine Kelly is on ITV1 at 9pm on Wednesday November 15
Reports say 73 per cent of people living in Lockerbie 35 years ago suffer from PTSD.
It was not as common to offer counselling back in 1988, and Lorraine said her own form of ‘therapy’ was just talking to her father about her traumas.
She says one of the reasons she made the documentary was to highlight the issue of PTSD and encourage people suffering to get help.
Return To Lockerbie With Lorraine Kelly is on ITV1 at 9pm on Wednesday November 15.