O’Reilly goes on to explain the importance of differentiating between identity and behavior, meaning that while some people play (a term commonly used in the lifestyle community that refers to group sex or other non-monogamous activities), they may not necessarily identify as swingers, with many people from younger generations opting to drop the label of “swinger” altogether.
Mario Cruz, operations manager for Desire Cruises agrees, but adds that there are practical marketing concerns to consider as well. “The term ‘swingers’ is a word that not many companies and partners want to be related with, because of the censorship that still exists on all media,” Cruz says. “We need to follow regulations that are on trend in order to reach our target customer.”
No matter what you call them, these cruise lines are primarily focused on providing a safe space for those interested in polyamory, non-monogamous experiences, and other sex-positive activities.
“These cruises are an extended version of lifestyle events,” explains Leanne Yau, a polyamory educator and advisor on all things non-monogamous for the LGBTQ+ dating app Taimi. “It’s expected that sex will be happening a fair bit, but it’s also a nice chance for a holiday while also meeting some people from around the world.” Yau notes that you don’t necessarily have to already be non-monogamous to get something out of these types of cruises. “Ultimately, I think it’s a really good experience for couples who are sexually adventurous, who want to try something new, and who are curious about group sex.”
And not everyone is on the boat with the agenda of indulging in group sex, swinging, or any other sex-related activity. These types of lifestyle cruises offer chances for people to be in community with one another in a non-judgmental, safe, and sex-positive environment. On top of the expected cruise experiences—sailing the globe to places like Spain, the Caribbean, or Italy; all-inclusive dining; massive pool decks; tours and excursions at each port—lifestyle cruises such as the ones hosted by Desire, Bliss, and Temptations have specific clothing-optional areas and spaces for sexual activities, often called “playrooms.” Outside of these spaces, the traditional rules of a cruise line apply. More importantly, almost all of them provide some form of educational programming on board with the help of professional sex educators like O’Reilly.
The rules of the ship, she says, are established before anyone steps foot on the deck. “We ensure consent by sending our guidelines prior to boarding in the welcome guide,” O’Rielly explains. There are plenty of reminders once guests are on the ship, too. “[The consent guidelines] are also posted in the play rooms and we offer verbal reminders during several workshops and keynotes that take place on board the cruise with our experts.”