Spooning Sex Position Tips, According to Sex Experts

The spooning sex position is one of the easiest, most intimate positions to enjoy in the bedroom. There are lots of reasons to love spooning sex, but many people count it as a favorite because it’s cozy, it’s comfortable, and it doesn’t require any strenuous activity that may bring on a weird cramp. (It’s part of our lazy sex positions list for a reason.)

But here’s the thing: while the position is great for when you want to give minimal effort, you don’t get minimal pleasure as a result. Spooning sex actually allows for incredibly deep penetration and plenty of erogenous-zone touching that will maximize enjoyable sensations and your orgasms.

Whether you’re still skeptical about spooning or you’re just looking for ways to enhance the experience, keep reading as two experts explain more about what could become your next favorite sex position.

Experts Featured in This Article

Lisa Lawless, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and CEO of Holistic Wisdom.

Marla Renee Stewart is a sex expert for Lovers and co-author of “The Ultimate Guide to Seduction and Foreplay.”

What Is Spooning Sex?

Though you may think of spooning as being the PG cuddling position, it can quickly turn X-rated when partners start feeling horny. Just like the cuddling position, the spooning sex position starts with both partners lying on their sides and facing the same direction. The rear partner (often labeled as the “big spoon”) is the person who does the penetrating, while the front partner (otherwise known as the “little spoon”) is on the receiving end of penetration.

“Spooning is popular because it allows for close contact and intimacy and can be used for either vaginal or anal penetration,” clinical psychologist Lisa Lawless, PhD, tells PS. Plus, it’s ideal for anyone, regardless of gender and sexual orientation, since the penetrating partner can use their genitals, their hand, a sex toy, or a strap-on dildo on the receiving partner.

On a physical level, the spooning sex position boasts some serious G-spot and prostate stimulation. But on a deeper level, the sex position connects you with your partner.

“Many people like the spooning sex position because most people like to cuddle,” sexologist Marla Renee Stewart says. And since cuddling helps people relax and eases stress, “it can lead to sex because of the feelings of safety and security that it offers, and many folks are keen to have sex when they feel loved and secure,” she adds.

How to Have Spooning Sex

To get into the spooning sex position, you can start by selecting a surface that will support the both of you while lying down, like a bed, a couch, or the floor, Stewart says. Then, lie down with your partner while facing the same direction.

From there, the penetrating partner can place their arm wherever is comfortable for them — under their partner’s neck, around their partner’s waist, or around their partner’s chest. Then, they can use their hand, their genitals, or a sex toy to begin penetration from behind, Dr. Lawless says.

The sex doesn’t just have to stop at penetration, though. “Remember to let your hands wander,” Stewart says. During penetration, you can touch your partner’s chest or breasts, stimulate their clitoris or other erogenous zones, and touch wherever else feels nice.

Spooning Sex Tips

Don’t be afraid to pair the position with a sex toy. If you have a clitoris, finding a sex toy to stimulate this area while penetration is happening simultaneously could give you the blended orgasm of your dreams. Just hold a sex toy on your clitoris or encourage your partner to hold it on themself.

Use your voice — and your mouth. “Add in some dirty talk or heavy moaning and breathing to arouse your lover,” Stewart says. Since this position allows for extreme closeness, these aural elements during sex will make you feel all types of things. It may not be comfortable or possible to kiss in this position, but the rear partner can still use their mouth to kiss and suck on the other partner’s ears and neck to engage even more pleasure centers (just get consent before leaving a mark!).

Mix it up with a variation. If things start to feel mundane, don’t be afraid to switch up the position or your leg placement to find the exact arrangement that hits the spot for you. For some added variety, Dr. Lawless recommends the receiving partner lift up their top leg and rest it on the penetrating partner’s hip, which “can create a different angle and sensation during penetration, enhancing pleasure.” She also recommends placing a pillow or cushion under the receiving partner’s hips to adjust the angle of penetration, since this can “enhance comfort and pleasure.”

Use lube. As with any sexual endeavor, it’s a good idea to use lube for “ease of penetration,” Dr. Lawless says — and that especially goes for anal sex. In general, lube makes sensations feel better, so it can be a smart move for whatever type of play you’re engaging in.

Taylor Andrews is a balance editor at PS who specializes in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, and more.