Had a passenger lean across from the back seat to shoot (yes, shoot) a BB gun at another car because “he thought it was his friend’s car”. I pulled over and booted his ass from the car, and then dragged him back to my house six hours later, at 10:00 pm that evening to explain to the understandably pissed-off cop in my house that I was not to blame.
To this day, I have no idea how one or both of us didn’t end up with a visit to the police station.
Submitted by: JohnnyWasASchoolBoy
After all these years I honestly can’t recall if it was her or if it was me, but a girlfriend and I were on a spring break road trip from Pennsylvania to Florida and we broke up around Fort Myers on the way home. Man, that was a long, quiet and uncomfortable 1000-mile drive home…
Submitted by: ReluctantFloridaMan
Got phenomenally drunk and peed all over his gear while camping, and then threw it in my car without recognizing how much pee was actually in one of the bags.
Thankfully he covered the detailing after sobering up and realizing what he did, but that was a strained couple of hours driving after we found the source of the smell.
Submitted by: PotbellyJoe and 42 others
My brother thought it was funny to flip the bird at a sheriff’s deputy when I drove past him. Fucking asshole, both of them. That was an hour out of my life I’ll never get back as the deputy damn near tore the care apart trying to find a reason to ticket me, and my brother kept antagonizing him. I even told he was more than welcome to arrest my brother if he wanted, which resulted in me getting smacked in the face by my mom when my brother went and whined to her that I said that. I was sixteen, he was fourteen. Fucking family, can’t live with them…that’s why I moved to New York.
Submitted by: skeffles
A friend flicked a cigarette out of the window, and somehow it ended up back in the car via the open sunroof, and it burned a hole in the leather backseat of my brand-new Saab 9-3. I was so pissed!
Submitted by: shle896
I played rugby in college and was usually the designated driver. Often, the drives back would be 5+ hour hauls after 80 minutes of rugby and a few hours of the “3rd half” social party afterwards. On one of these drives back, a particular troublesome underclassman was blackout drunk and non-stop trash-talking to the other 4 of us packed in my Mazda 3 hatch. For about 2 hours, he would not shut up about how he deserved to be a starter and how his father was going to kick all of our asses when he got out of prison.
At one point, one of my other teammates had had enough and socked the dude in the face. He took the hint and passed out within a few minutes. Blessed silence until…about 2 hours later we realized he had pissed himself, and that back seat of my car. We were in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night and my teammates had no real choice but to stay in the back seat with (and in) the piss.
He slowly stopped showing up to practice after that and eventually just kind of dropped off the map. No one missed him.
Submitted by: SantaCruzin6
Talk to me while I’m driving.
The more I drive alone, the more I realize how distracted I am with someone in my car talking to me. I’m driving, I’m focused. When I’m chatting, I’m not focused as much. I’m not distracted, in the “distracted driving” sense, but I’m not scanning every little thing with the eye of a hawk. It’s so much different.
Something something multitasking is fake, it’s task-switching. Be a safe driver, be a monotasker.
Submitted by: fredschwartz
Many years ago when I was a construction supervisor during the hurricanes in FL. One of my drivers asked for a ride to his rig and climbed in my recently acquired AE86 with his pet parrot. BTW, I hate birds! As we’re driving, his parrot bites him on the finger and he throws the parrot in the backseat and takes a couple swings at him. Feathers are flying, this guy is bleeding in my car and I’m trying not to crash.
If that wasn’t bad enough, when we get to his dump truck he then puts the parrot on the roof of my car while we went to bandage himself up. The devil-bird then takes a few bites out of my windshield moulding and I just get to stand there and watch. I figured if that bird just lacerated his owner, he doesn’t give a damn about me.
I still hate birds to this day!
Submitted by: JSinclair39
Agree, but I can do you well maybe not one better, but up the game. Same friend, two things. One, he liked to set the back of the driver’s seat on fire. Yes, you read that right. Also while arguing with my BFF in the backseat, he accidentally stabbed him, yes you read that right as well, and he bled on my cloth seats. Thankfully, it wasn’t intentional, so my BFF didn’t get really hurt.
Submitted by: liffie420
Be a bad navigator.
Back in the bad old days of paper maps, the person riding shotgun was in charge of the map and keeping the driver on course.
I was once driving from Manchester, TN to Bowling Green, KY with three friends to visit the National Corvette Museum. The person who called shotgun (my friend Curt) neglected to mention that he absolutely SUCKED at reading maps, and we wound up 50+ miles off course before we realized we were on the wrong highway (I-24 instead of I-65.)
When we realized we were off-course, I pulled over, got my bearings, and relegated Curt to the back seat for the remainder of the trip.
Submitted by: Earthbound Misfit I
Reached over and honked the horn at someone else on my behalf. Someone who was driving dumb, not, like, a friendly honk to someone we knew or something.
Absolutely. Fuck. That. I’m driving. Get the fuck off of my controls. I will honk if I feel like it. Don’t escalate shit on my behalf when you aren’t in control. It still pisses me off just thinking about it, lol.
Submitted by: Stang70Fastback
That happened to me once as well. It was a guy who’s well-known around town as a lazy, no-good loafer. He wanted a ride to a housing development a few blocks up the street, so I was kind enough to do it.
A couple of blocks up the street, he reached over and blew my horn at some guys standing on the corner. I asked him why he did that and he said he was trying to get his buddies’ attention to hop in for a ride. I told him no and kept driving. He got angry with me and said I could have picked them up. I told him I owned this car, he doesn’t touch the horn or radio or the horn, and I’m not running a ride service for his friends, and that he especially doesn’t decide who gets to ride in my car.
He really got angry and started cursing and swearing at me. I was angry as well and ready to fight. Just then, I saw some officers parked on the side. I pulled over and motioned them over, and told this joker to get out of the car and never ask for another ride-ever. If he didn’t get out, then the nice police officers will help him to get out and gladly give him a free ride; I was certain they had a few warrants out on him.
It was several months before he apologized to me.
Submitted by: IDM3