Buckle up folks, because this is a juicy one! Recently, I came across this story by Reddit user Green-Waterways-1482 who asked his wife of 19 years for an open marriage because he claimed to not be as attracted to her as when they first got married. However, after being rejected by his female coworker and seeing how many dates his wife was getting, he started regretting his decision.
Here’s the story in u/Green-Waterways-1482’s own words: “I feel like a complete idiot here. My wife and I have been married for 19 years. We have one child. Our daughter moved out this summer after she enlisted in the armed forces. I love my wife, but I felt like the spark was gone from our lives. I didn’t want to divorce her, so I proposed an open marriage. She was upset initially, but eventually she agreed.”
“Like I said in the title of my post, I made a mistake. I have learned that just because I wasn’t as attracted to my wife as I was when we got married, it doesn’t mean other men would feel the same. My wife has so many men and dates she doesn’t know what to do with them all. Meanwhile, it’s the opposite for me.”
“Not only that, but after my wife agreed to an open marriage. I asked a woman who was a colleague of mine out on a date.”
“I was a manager at my job, but I wasn’t her manager. We worked in completely different divisions and our work had nothing to do with each other’s jobs. But, even though I wasn’t her manager and I am in an open marriage, she complained to her manager and showed HR my messages. I lost my job.”
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“I told my wife I want to close our marriage again because I was an idiot for suggesting it in the first place. She said no, she’s happy with how things are.”
“It’s killing me when I know she is with other men. My brother called me a moron when I told him, and said expecting my wife to look like she did when she got married made me a dunce. He even went so far as to say she takes good care of herself and is in great shape for 44, she just doesn’t look 20. He had the nerve to say my wife looks better than me and I could stand to lose some weight.”
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“I love my wife and I don’t want a divorce. I never wanted a divorce, which is why I proposed this in the first place. But, she doesn’t want to close the marriage. I’m not worried about money because we both work, but I do not want a divorce. I’m just glad my daughter enlisted in the RCAF and isn’t here to see our marriage falling apart.”
So, as you can probably guess, the majority of users did not feel any pity for the husband, with one writing: “You asked for this. You literally led your family into this. This is on you. You sound extremely selfish. The only reason you want it to end is because you were rejected while she was accepted. Weird.” —OverallEmu2951
Agreeing, u/Slabbeefpunch said: “He assumed that the fact that he didn’t value his wife was an indication of how other men would feel about her.”
Another user called out the husband for not being fully upfront with his wife about his reasons for wanting an open marriage:
“Ok lets talk about this truthfully. You had a crush on someone at work. You asked your wife for a pass. She doesn’t want to but eventually agrees. You ask out your crush. She rejects you. You suddenly don’t want the marriage open? Lol. Dude you had a specific person in mind. Don’t dip your pen in company ink, and don’t harass people at work. Power dynamics are a real issue whether you are her manager or not.”—herecomes_the_sun
Emphasizing that point, another user explained that they supported the wife for standing firm in her decision NOT to close their marriage again and keep dating:
“I support her for saying no, first the amount of grief it must have been to your wife when you asked for the open relationship, having to imagine your husband wanting to sleep with different women, and the pain to agree to that. But now you are the one who’s feeling sad that she is sleeping around? Open relationship isn’t one sided, play stupid games win stupid prizes.”—Evolime
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And finally, multiple users questioned the husband’s statements about being fired from his job simply for asking his coworker out on a date:
“Im assuming he’s made creepy comments for awhile and she probably ignored them to keep the peace. Him making his move might’ve been enough for her to do something about it. Just a guess though.” — DXNNIS
What do you think about this messy situation? Let us know in the comments below.