For most of us, the current education system offers anything but an ideal nurturing, caring and learning atmosphere for our children to flourish in.
“The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn”. – Alvin Toffler, American writer and futurist.
In one of India’s major cities, a group of parents meets monthly to share their experiences, fears, hurdles and small victories in educating their children.
Their apprehensions and joys are unlike those of other parents, as they have chosen – not to send their children to school – they are unschooling or homeschooling their young ones. No prizes for guessing the reason for making such a choice – a common and widely felt disillusionment with the current state of the schooling system – which is experienced by the majority of parents, children and all those who have gone through it in any role – as a teacher, administrator, a student or a parent.
Disillusionment with the current Education System
For most of us, the current education system offers anything but an ideal nurturing, caring and learning atmosphere for our children to flourish in.
The best part of the child’s day is spent in school – beginning from 3- 4 hours in primary schools and extending to 8 – 10 hours in high schools learning or accumulating redundant knowledge.
The school teaches friends to compete against each other, honors – rote learners, judges a child based on his marks and ranks, instills fear in the name of discipline, stifles curiosity and creativity, and burdens parents and children with projects and assignments. In short, it does everything to transform inherently loving, caring, creative souls into insensitive, highly competitive, stressed and directionless individuals with little care or concern for others.
Many children turn to youths and adults carrying the scars of bullying from their classmates, reprimanding from teachers, parents, and elders and a myriad of negative experiences at school and home that stay with them for years.
The above scene resonates with every parent and child who has gone through the schooling system. Most of us give in due to the dearth of any other option. Others console themselves by putting their kids in the best schools in their cities or schools whose values and culture resonate with at least some of the parents’ values.
But few of those who refuse to accept whatever is dished down to them in the name of educating their child, dare to abandon a toxic and stress-giving system and take to unschooling or home-schooling their children.
As Sharda and her husband say – a series of incidents in school, made them rethink their decision and they finally decided to let their child study at home at his own pace and pick up subjects per his liking. After Aradhya stopped going to school and started his unschooling journey for four years, Sharda and her husband decided to unschool their daughter Shrushti too.
For Neha and her husband both founders of their own IT Consulting firm, the decision was simple – they wanted to provide their only daughter with a no-stress, competition-free, and thriving atmosphere for learning. They tried the school system, even changing schools in their search for the ideal place. Finally, the pandemic, made them realise that their daughter was doing good at home too. When the restrictions were lifted, they did not continue with the school and began their journey of unschooling their child.
Challenges of unschooling and homeschooling
Although it sounds cool, ‘unschooling’ or ‘homeschooling’ comes with its lot of challenges –
- One – parents have to devote more time to their child, and this puts more burden on women in most cases – as they have to curtail their ambitions and sideline their professional or personal growth for their child.
- Lack of friends – since most children are at school, the young child may feel isolated and cut off from the rest of the world. Society does not accept such children easily. Neha says, that parents would forbid their children to play with Akshaya initially saying that she was at home the whole day, or due to their fear of their children insisting on staying home.
- Many times it may become difficult to monitor the child all the time and keep them engaged.
Benefits of unschooling and homeschooling
Allowing the child the space to learn, unlearn, and relearn in the comfort and security of its home has many benefits. Seema, an Ayurveda practitioner, says that her daughter now has plenty of time to pursue those activities that truly interest her. She proudly says that her 12-year-old daughter has completed a yoga instructor course and is deeply involved in karate and basketball sports. Had she been attending regular school, this would not have been possible.
Some benefits of unschooling and homeschooling –
- You get to be a part of your child’s journey as it learns, unlearns and relearns to develop a full-rounded personality through its interactions with people, nature, and events.
- As they meander through the real-life events they encounter, they acquire the street smartness, toughness and confidence of those who are less privileged, which many times is missing in the school going children.
- Moreover, the amount that would go into educating the child can be invested in the market or bonds, mutual funds, real estate, etc in the child’s name, so that when the child grows up, they have a sizeable amount to start on their own.
- The child gets to devote maximum time and energy to the activity of his/her interest – which might be – training for a particular sport without worrying about regular tests and exams and complying with the school diktats.
Difference between ‘unschooling’ and ‘homeschooling’
There is a slight difference between – ‘unschooling’ and ‘homeschooling’ though. The parents who are homeschooling their wards, follow a set curriculum which is followed in the school. The only difference is they make their children study the same subjects in a safe and conducive environment at home. These children usually sit for the annual exam and move to the next class. Whereas ‘unschooling’ is – leaving the child with the study materials and letting them choose what they want to study – such kids usually take the board exams through NIOS or some may opt to skip taking any exams.
Considering taking the big step? Check if you have the below things in your favor.
The National Education Policy (NEP) 2020 promises a lot of changes in the education system to make it more learner-conducive and encourage a cooperative mode of learning instead of a competitive mode. However, if you or someone in your circle doesn’t want to wait for the change to take place and take on hands on the responsibility of ‘unschooling’ their child, here are a few things to keep in mind before taking the big step –
- The parents themselves have to be very disciplined and possess a strong value system to instill the same in their child who is solely dependent on the family for learning.
- If there are elders in the family, all should be on the same page and be equally supportive of the decision.
- You have to be super confident about your decision that it is the best for your child – only then will you be able to survive the sneers and jibes of society.
- Unschooling or homeschooling will take your time, energy, and money. If the parents agree to devote more time and have enough resources, they should go for it.
- Finally, for parents aware of their conditioning and prejudices, this is a journey of unschooling not just for their children but for themselves as well.
To conclude, bringing souls on this earth places a heavy responsibility on the parents and society. They should be able to provide their children the ideal growing and thriving space where their personalities bloom and don’t wither and fade out.
Opting to ‘unschool’ or ‘homeschool’ your child is a very personal choice.
Steven Harrison, in his book ‘The Happy Child’ says, “Children naturally want to learn. So let them direct their own education – in democartic learning communities, where they can interact seamlessly with their neighborhoods, their towns and the world at large.”
Note – Names have been altered to keep the identity of the parents and their children. This article has been written after the author attended a workshop for parents who were or were interested in unschooling/homeschooling their children. The author then interviewed the parents telephonically.
This article is written by Umi Saran