The other day while texting with a friend who’s a new mom, she shared a confession that made me want to reach out and hug her…
“It’s way easier to do activities with the baby when my husband is with me, because I feel more confident with the support. But when I’m alone with him, we can barely leave the house! I keep telling myself when he’s ‘older,’ we can do xyz. But he keeps getting older and my momma worries are still there.”
As I read her message, I was transported back three years, when my daughter Ella was a baby. My husband Max and I had just moved to a new town, an hour’s drive away from our friends and family. In the midst of trying to make our house a home, I was also finding my bearings as a new mom. Before Ella was born, I’d had zero baby experience. I had never babysat kids under eight, and just the thought of holding a wiggly newborn made me squirm. During Max’s and my first night with Ella in the hospital, I’ll never forget the shock in our nurse’s eyes when I asked her to give me a diaper-changing tutorial. Somehow I had made it to the age of 28 without ever having changed one.
By the time Max’s eight weeks of parental leave was up, I felt confident enough in the baby basics (feeding, changing diapers, and putting Ella down for naps) to hang solo with her for the day. But there was still one activity that made me sweat with anxiety: taking a walk with the stroller.
Have you ever had a baby melt down mid-walk? The first time Ella did, we were 10 minutes from our house when her face scrunched up. I prayed Please dear Lord no… before she let out a scream so loud, my mind went blank. The (speed) walk home was a blur, but I do remember my cheeks burning as car passengers and fellow walkers stared at Ella and me with concern.
For several weeks afterward, our stroller gathered dust in our guest room. I desperately wanted to take Ella exploring around our new neighborhood, but the idea of her melting down again made my body shake. Until I found a solution: practice stroller walks.
I know.
For an entire week, in the mornings and afternoons, I would buckle Ella into the stroller, push her out our kitchen sliding door, and walk loops around our backyard. Just typing this makes me laugh because it sounds so ridiculous. But! This over-the-top-precaution was exactly what I needed as a new mom. By the end of that week, the repetition of pushing the stroller made me feel so much more comfortable. And before I knew it, we became stroller pros.
Here are a few snapshots from that first year…
A happy five-month-old Ella finally taking a neighborhood walk!
Chilling in the stroller at a local car show.
Exploring the Los Angeles County Museum of Art.
Chilling at the Monterey pier.
Now it’s your turn, what are some of the hilarious precautions you took as a new parent? I’d love to know.
P.S. 15 things Joanna would tell a new parent and raising your first child vs your second.
(Photos courtesy of Jannelle Sanchez.)